Japan Makes a Mockery of my Childhood

I will not soon forgive this.

Someday...

...I will be able to leave the dentist's office without crying. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink energy drinks, and now I don't drink soda and sweet tea.

Bottled water and an even blander life, here I come.

Also, goodbye to a nice chunk of my savings.

UPDATE: Scratch that --say goodbye to half of my savings! Depressing...

Children of Evolution

Twitter Pic is Truth

I'm finding that I'm starting to get a little annoyed about how frequently some of the people to which I've subscribed twitter (David Gregory and Stephen Fry, I'm looking at you). Maybe I just don't "get" twitter yet, but some users spam every little mundane event in their lives --which would be fine maybe 2 or 3 times a day. I enjoy the voyeuristic look into other lives that twitter provides. But the experience is becoming a mind numbing deluge of frivolous information.

My Little Alien Story

Ever have a dream so real it's unnerving? I had one of those this morning.

---
I awoke to the sound of rustling in my room and caught something moving by my closet. An overwhelming sense of dread washed over me and I jumped straight out of bed, opened my door, and ran downstairs just as quick as I could. I found my mom in the kitchen, getting my brother ready for school.

"Mom. Did you just hear anything?"
"No. Are you alright? Trouble getting to sleep?"
"No. I, uh, I think there's something in my room. Like, I thought I saw an alien or, I don't know. It was weird."

We both crept to the front room and heard someone moving around upstairs.

"It's probably just your brother," she whispered. I nodded. A video game controller was lying on the ground right in front of me and I picked it up.

"This shouldn't be down here. There's no way it could get here."

We both looked at each other and continued moving toward my room. My brother stepped out from his room.

"Did you hear something?" He asked.
I shushed him and pointed to my bedroom. I walked in with my family behind me. My window was open and a cold breeze was blowing the curtains. The room was empty.

My mother was halfway through the door when she shrieked. She was looking down the hallway.

"It's him!" she screamed as she ran into my room, falling back against my bed. I heard the pitter-patter of two little naked feet running quickly down the hall.

A little grey alien, no more than 3 feet tall, with big, black eyes, charged me. I screamed. He tried to run under my legs and escape through the window, but for some reason, I squeezed my legs shut just in time, trapping him. He swiveled in my grasp and looked straight into my eyes. He pulled out a small weapon and aimed it at my head. He shot me.

I felt my head compress and shrink, imploding into a horrific sensation of nothingness. And then I woke up.

---
It took me a couple moments to orient myself. At first, I could hardly move. But as control over my limbs returned, along with the memory of my frightening experience, I pulled myself out of bed and walked downstairs.

I called to my mom. She was in the kitchen getting my brother ready for school. She was still in her pajamas. In my dream, she was already in her work clothes. The first discrepancy.

"Mom, did you have any weird dreams?"
"Uh, well, yes," she answered. "Just before I woke up. There was something. I can't remember."

This is it, I thought. If our dreams match up, then maybe there was something authentic about my experience. I could hardly hold the words in.

"Was it about aliens?"
"Aliens? No. I don't think so."

Another discrepancy. I looked around for the video game controller. Gone. The third discrepancy. I sighed, relieved by the fact that it was all a dream.

"I had one of those dreams that feel so real," I explained, "about an alien, like one of those archetypical Greys people talk about." Strangely, as the details of the dream started to drift away, new dream memories were springing up. Didn't I catch the alien in the act of creating hybrid humanzees and ligers? That's right! I was watching a tv program about hybrids just before I fell asleep. That must have been part of some other, less convincing, but loosely connected dream narrative. An over active imagination seemed to explain it all away.

But I will mention one last, somewhat unnerving discovery. A week ago, I awoke with a feeling of unease to find my curtains blowing in the wind and my window opened halfway. This was no dream. I left to take a shower without thinking much of it. It was not until I returned that I realized the strangeness of the scene. I thought, "What on earth is my window doing open on a blustery, winter day?" I asked my family, but no one could account for why it was open. It seems to have opened in the middle of the night.

Ohio Man Holds Woman Hostage, Forces to Wear Adult Diaper, then Reads Bible

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) -- A man held a woman captive in handcuffs and an adult diaper for three days while he read Bible passages to her, police said.

Troy Brisport, 34, was charged with kidnapping and felonious assault. Bail was set Tuesday at $400,000.

He picked up the woman Wednesday night in Detroit after she told him she had nowhere to stay, and brought her to his home in Toledo, about 55 miles away, police said.

The woman told police that after she fell asleep Brisport handcuffed her wrists and ankles, gagged her, undressed her and put her in an adult diaper, then read Bible passages, said police Capt. Ray Carroll.

She apparently was not sexually assaulted, Carroll said.

However, court documents alleged that Brisport tried several times to suffocate the woman using a pillow and blanket.

[source]