Sunday, December 21, 2008

Punch to the Gut at Blockbuster

Jay: yeah, I highly recommend King of Kong. It's a really great documentary.

Woman: Okay, great. We love documentaries. Actually, a couple weeks ago we saw Expelled. Did you see that?

Jay: Uh, yeah, I did see that.

Woman: Oh we thought it was just great. Very funny and well done.

Jay (anxiety kicks in): Um, well, yeah, I don't know. I mean, if you do a little, uh, if you like research it...

Woman: Yeah, it's kind of soft science, I know. Then again, so is Darwin.

Jay (queasily): But, uh, I mean if you find out more about it...

Woman: Yeah, I'm actually a science teacher and so is my husband...

JAY'S KNEES BUCKLE and his HEART DROPS. He doesn't know what to say. Should he say he's studied it all through college? No, he's working at Blockbuster now. That sounds retarded.

Jay: Well, okay, cool, have a nice day!

JAY HANDS WOMAN her movie and returns to register. He can't think. He's dizzy and disoriented. What just happened?


It's all too frequent true-life moments like these that make me think, "Maybe a little anxiety medicine could go a loooonnnggg way."


SuiginChou said...

It's moments like these that make me certain you need to go back to college and get a degree ib either biology or in science education, one or the other, because it's clear to me that you spend more of your life dealing with evolution than you do with music or film or writing.

At least, that's the impression the blog gives off. Correct me if I'm wrong. And I know: money's right. I couldn't go back to college at this point either because of that. But I'm just saying -- it's clear that your current degree isn't cutting it.

SuiginChou said...

Don't have my glasses on, sorry: that should say "money's tight".

As far as anxiety goes, yeah, that sort of encounter shouldn't make you have a panic attack. :\ So you may want to look into talking to somebody. BUT! Then again, they're probably just going to throw diazepam at you anyway, and you don't want that :\ , so if you can identify what's causing your anxiety and neuter it rather than using drugs to mask your anxiety while the underlying cause remains a thorn in your side for the rest of your life, I think the former'd be better.

Mike said...

Another reason to leave that hell hole called Indiana and move up to science loving Massachusetts!

Jay said...


Daniel said...

What's this business about moving to Massachusetts, New Hampshire's sluttier cousin?

fulleju said...

all the more reason to stay in Indiana and help those poor, ignorant people.

Mike said...

New Hampshire is far sluttier than MA.

SuiginChou said...

You cannot help those who are beyond helping, nor can you help those who do not seek help. The person must be both willing and able in order to receive help. In Indiana, and in much of the world, there are many individuals who do not fit these requirements.

I see your point, Justin, about Jay "fighting the good fight" and being something of a "science missionary" in the heathen lands of Christian Conservative Country, but I feel like a "science missionary" is to Indiana what an equal rights speaker is to the KKK. Sure, you could ask an equal rights speaker to infiltrate the KKK and to live among them in the hopes of winning one or two of them over, but what a miserable existence that person would have to lead in order to do this! What dangers he must endure? What insults he must suffer?

I suppose some would say that that is precisely why such a person would be labeled a hero by his peers. But is it really worth it to Jay? I think we're over-dramatizing it just a bit. His gesture, were he to make it, would be admirable, but its degree would be minimal. Whether he stays or goes will have little impact on Indiana's scientific education -- at least as of right now. If Jay were serious about "fighting the fight," then he'd do as suggested and look into either educating the youth (high school teacher) or their parents and grandparents (go back to college and get degrees that would allow him to join the ranks of his heroes: Darwin, Dawkins, and Brown).

And you know something? He doesn't even need to go back to school, really. He could also do what so many brilliant scholar-writers of centuries past have done: and advance his agenda under the guise of children's literature. (The Golden Compass for a recent controversial example, The Chronicles of Narnia for a baffingly more accepted and yet just as grievous example.) Or even if not children's literature, then general literature (Oliver Twist, The Great Gatsby, The Grapes of Wrath, etc.)

Words have the power to move people. I hope to see Jay move our world with his words.