Sorry, Here's What I Saw:

Trick or treat? I got tricked. Well played Internet, well played.

BIOHAZARD!

Infectious Mononucleosis has struck the Fuller household! More specifically, it has struck my sister. At first I was all, "Hey, maybe I can get it and have an excuse to stop working!"

Then I saw my poor sister's suffering and I was all:

Get well soon, Lauren!

In other news, Sam celebrated his 16th Birthday today (technically yesterday). Happy birthday!

Doggie Fears

When my dog Sophia and my brother were younger, they were both attacked by a swarm of bees that was nested in the hill of a soccer field. My brother was rushed to the hospital and treated for a dozen or so stings. I don't believe we did much for little Sophia, aside from brush off the bees that still clung to her coat. She has always had a remarkable pain tolerance.

But it's very clear that the incident has marked Sophia with a strong bee and buzzing-insect phobia. Just the other day, an obnoxious fly found its way into the house. She decided she wasn't taking her chances and ran upstairs into hiding, whining and waiting for someone to take care of the tiny intruder.

I find this insect paranoia incredibly humanizing. When it is so easy to think we Homo sapiens are somehow special, it is humbling to recognize fear and trauma and profound, affecting memories in another species. I am forced to wonder: when Sophia yelps in her sleep and moves her limbs as if to run, is she dreaming of chasing rabbits in an open field or is she reliving a nightmare from years past?

Presidential Educational Credentials

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A.
Political Science with a Specialization in
International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Can we please try the smart team this time? PLEASE?

Opie, Andy Griffth, and the Fonz Endorse Obama

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Life is Sacred

And I guess that is why I'm not religious.

The Christian viewpoint, when brought to its logical conclusion, was explained in a recent blog post:

"Any good secularist can think life is sacred. Of course what the secularist means by the word sacred is interesting, but the idea that Christians are about the maintenance of some principle separate from our understanding of God is just crazy. As a matter of fact, Christians do not believe that life is sacred. I often remind my right-to-life friends that Christians took their children with them to martyrdom rather than have them raised pagan."

THANK GOODNESS most Christians no longer practice this disastrous belief. If it weren't for the rise of the moderately religious, who pick and choose their beliefs with reason and a moral compass honed by natural selection, then I have little doubt that the human enterprise would plunge once again into a Dark Age.

Of course, the problem with moderates is that they wish to have their cake and eat it too. 'Sure, I profess to believe that life is not sacred, that maybe it's better to martyr myself and my children, or better yet, kill my enemies, rather than bear witness to false beliefs, but just because I say that's what I believe doesn't mean I'd ever do it.'

WAT?

As for the right to life argument, I think the right of those already living trumps the right of those who are not yet living. If a mother's health is at stake because of a complicated pregnancy, it is a greater tragedy to lose the mother, whose complex neural network constitutes sentience and precious memories, than the fetus, who has known nothing and has nothing to lose.

I'm So Vain I Probably Think This Blog is About Me

I recently found out that someone at work has a crush on me. That makes the fourth instance in my life that I know someone has had a crush on me. I'd say I've seen signs of 3 or 4 other crushes, but in those cases, I'm not sure. And as far as infatuations are concerned, maybe just one, maybe none. I'd also say a few friends have had man-crushes on me, but now I just sound like an ego-maniac.

For my own part, I've had about 5 crushes and 1 infatuation in my entire lifetime.

I've never been good a managing my own crushes, and particularly, those with crushes on me. I just don't seem to attract the people that I find most attractive. Oh well. I guess life could be a lot worse than complaining about the people who like you.

And Then Came the Voodoo

      Geraldine looked up at the moon and felt uneasy. It was perfect daylight and the sky was blue, yet there was the moon staring back like an empty eye. It seemed she was the only one who noticed it hiding behind a high-rise. Her mother had said that spotting the moon during the day meant certain bad luck. The memory made Geraldine’s knees buckle. And then came the voodoo.
      She stubbed her toe against the sidewalk and cursed. The pain shot up her leg. She stumbled and tried to find her gait, but her ankle contorted and she nearly lost her balance. Geraldine adjusted her pantsuit and lowered herself awkwardly, finding a seat on the curb. She peeled off her pump and massaged her toe. A blood blister oozed. She touched it gently and a yellowed toenail came off in her hand.
      “Jesus!”
      A few passers-by glanced down at Geraldine then continued walking unconcerned. Droplets of red dripped steadily. She removed her business tote and searched for anything to stop the bleeding. She tried some crumpled newspaper, but her blood mingled with ink and she cringed.
      “Does anyone have a bandage?”
      A man patted his pockets. A woman tapped her purse. They never stopped moving.
      Geraldine saw a convenience mart across the street. She picked herself up with her foot turned unnaturally inward. She hopped. The strap of her tote pulled down on her shoulder, burning with every step. She leaned against a parked car for support and a tear splashed against her cheek. Geraldine looked skyward. The blue had turned to gray and the moon was missing.
      HONK! A shadow in a Cadillac pressed his horn and waited for Geraldine to cross the road. She raised her hand and limped forward as another tear splashed her face. Then a wailing torrent plunged down from above like a banshee. Her make-up smeared. Her black hair curled and her clothes grew heavy. She could feel herself drip away, drop by drop, as she dragged her bloodied toe through the dirty water.

To be continued...

Obama and McCain Agree: Western PA Sucks

Here is a Song You Should Have

"Sons of" by Judy Collins

You're welcome. :D

For Future Reference

I thought of a little scene, which I imagine in a Victorian setting, so I will write it down here for posterity. If I still think it's clever in the future, perhaps I'll incorporate it into a story.

"Come friend, have a drink and forget your worries. Ignorance is bliss, as they say."

"No sir, ignorance is death. I shall have sufficient time to be thoughtless whilst I rot in my grave. Meanwhile, I should like to think as much as I possibly can."

More Republicans Endorse Obama

First several high profile Republican columnists praise and endorse Obama, then the conservative newspaper The Chicago Tribune bucks tradition and endorses Obama, and now Republican and former secretary of state Colin Powell has endorsed Obama!

Wow. When was the last time a candidate has ever enjoyed this much bipartisan support?

My Problem:

I have no one to impress, and so I'm comfortable being unimpressive.

: (

I Have Albums Again!

One of the features on my iPod touch that has become a surprise favorite is the ability to create and arrange albums. This has become my obsession over the last few days. Now that the task is finally complete, I can report that it is quite a nice feeling to have my collection of music organized and in the palm of my hand. It feels like I have an album collection again!

I've also enjoyed many of the free applications for download on the iPod touch. My two favorites thus far are "Now Playing," which provides reviews, theater locations, and trailers for new and upcoming movies and "Stanza," which downloads free books from a catalog of thousands of public domain novels and texts. I've already worked my way through the first 8 chapters of "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" during my downtime at work, and of course, I downloaded a copy of "On the Origin of Species" to have always at my side.

BBRRAAAAIIINNSSS!

- Senator John McCain, from last night's debate. I'm not sure why he made this expression; there's probably a rational explanation. Regardless, it is filled with lulz.

Download Myspace Music and Youtube Audio

I discovered a wonderful way to rip free music from Myspace.com, or really, any file from any website. Just copy the link for the page with the desired file and go to File2HD.com. Paste the url, agree to the terms of service, click on "get files", then right click any file you'd like and select "Save Link As"



There are several websites that conveniently extract audio from youtube, such as listentoyoutube.com or VidtoMp3.com, but if you're just looking for music, I recommend trying to find it on Myspace first and using File2hd. The sound quality is orders of magnitude better.

Monty Python's John Cleese on Sarah Palin

On the one hand, this seems almost too mean and sarcastic. On the other hand, it's got to be said that Palin is dangerously unqualified for the office she seeks.

You'd think everyone would have learned their lesson with the now universally disliked President Bush, who offered the same folksy charm, who was the guy you'd like to have a beer with, but lacked all qualifications to make him a competent leader. Both Palin and Bush are rich, inexperienced, gun-toting anti-intellectual conservative evangelical nationalists mired by abuse of power scandals who come from a right-wing tradition of screw-the-little-guy "Reaganomics" and free-market deregulation.

And yet in spite of Palin's uncanny resemblance to President Bush, her small-town, you-betcha charm is apparently strong enough to win over even my own mother, a registered democrat!

Something is rotten here and it stinks. Hopefully Obama's lead will keep expanding so I don't have to worry myself to sleep.

New Song - Wordsworth

What was supposed to be a simple melody I thought I would write down in two or three days became a too-big-for-its-britches project that I've languished over for a couple months. It still doesn't sound like it does in my head. But I'm tired of working on it, so I'm pushing it out the door and moving on.

SCREW YOU, Microsoft!

Well, the seemingly inevitable nightmare of every Xbox360 owner has finally struck the Fuller household. We got RROD'd. That's right, our console is showing the "red rings of death." It's officially broken.

I guess this is the difference between Japanese engineering and the American design philosophy of "Get it out the door now and patch it later." Or maybe it's just shoddy work, plain and simple.

I don't know when or if this is going to get fixed. I rarely play the thing as it is, but I know I'm the only one who might make the effort to get it fixed. The bottom line is Microsoft has dealt itself another blow in a long list of consumer confidence failures.

Meanwhile, Apple seems to get more and more appealing...

I, For One, Welcome Our New Apple Overlords

After two bizarre, sleepless nights of iPod related dreams, I finally caved in and bought an iPod Touch. It's only the 8g and it can be a little buggy from time to time, but overall, it's a very slick package and a lot of fun. I've already got it set up to send text messages and make VOIP calls, although I don't have a microphone to try it out yet.

I'd really like to see Nintendo try their hand at the all-in-one device market, because aside from games, the iPod Touch has the DS and the PSP handily beat.

The Rise and Fall of Sarah Palin

Well, it's official. A bipartisan investigation has concluded that Sarah Palin unlawfully abused her power by trying to get her former brother-in-law and state trooper fired.

An unlawful liar, a laughingstock, and a loony. The End.

'Cause It's My Birthday!

Well, I guess it's technically the day after my birthday, but close enough. It was nice to finally have a day without work (except for a little dog sitting). I received some lovely gifts from my parents and had a great time. And thanks to my grandparents for the cards!

And thanks to all my friends for the shout-outs on facebook! Those were very kind.

Why Does This Make Me Laugh SO MUCH?

Woman in Cow Suit Terrorizes Children

Finding Evil in Myself?

I don't know how in the world the tragic story of Harvey Milk and Mayor Moscone has escaped my attention for so long, but the trailer for Gus Van Sant's new biographical film "MILK" has thrust the historical episode before me.

If you get a chance, you might want to sit down and watch the remarkable documentary, "The Times of Harvey Milk," to familiarize yourself with the modern-day story of a terrible injustice. Part one can be found here.

Anyway, to address the title of this post, the documentary split open a chasm in my humanity and I worry that I may have found the tiny seed of an evil impulse. Before today, I think I can safely say that I have never really hoped for the death of another human being. Even the most cruel tyrants of human history have been too distant to elicit a real emotional response.

When I learned that supervisor Dan White took a loaded pistol and an extra round of ammunition, climbed through a town hall window to avoid security, sneaked into the mayor's office, shot and killed Mayor Moscone, reloaded his weapon, walked to the first elected openly gay official's office and murdered Harvey Milk execution style, even then, my outrage was not profoundly felt.

BUT THEN, when I learned that a 1980's jury found White guilty of voluntary manslaughter rather than premeditated first degree murder, with a sentence of only 7 years and parole, and that he served ONLY 5 YEARS BEFORE HE WAS SET FREE, something dark bubbled up inside me. I was deeply uncomfortable, deeply outraged, and I hoped very strongly for the death of supervisor Dan White. When I learned that he eventually committed suicide, I felt a great sense of satisfaction, secure in the knowledge that a great evil had been purged from existence.

But that is not like me. And the more I think about it, the more I don't like the fact that I actually liked the fact that someone died. Call me naive, call me a bleeding heart, call me whatever, but the power of emotion to celebrate and find solace in violence is deeply disturbing.

Whence Comes Evil?

In the TBS movie “Abraham,” God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son. Abraham goes out and screams “Why?”

In the Bible, that never happens. Maybe it did, but the Bible never mentions it. Hebrews says Abraham took Isaac to be sacrificed convinced by God’s previous promise that he and the boy would, somehow, return.

Abraham took that all the way, never pausing to say “Why?” along the way. When Isaac asked where was the sacrifice, Abraham didn’t get smart and say “Good question.” He said “God will provide a lamb.”

God doesn’t give explanations very often. He’s working for a bigger result- faith and trust in who he is and what he’s done for us- and will do- in Jesus.

That’s the life. I need to get busy living it, because every moment I’m shouting “Why?” I”m wasting my breath.

from Boar's Head Tavern

Now you've got to understand, to people like me, this kind of talk scares me like nothing else. Imagine the Abraham story in a modern setting. Say your friend tells you, "Hey, guess what! The voice of God, which only I can hear, has ordered me to kill my son as a sacrifice. I'm going to murder my boy without question to prove my loyalty and faith."

I'm sorry, but my response will never be, "Sounds great! You sure are an exemplary human being!"

My response will always be, "HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE CALL THE GODDAMN POLICE!"

This disdain for questioning, this rejection of reason, this anti-intellectual belief that asking, "why?" is a waste of breath, chills me to the bone. Honestly, it is a moral teaching that is so counter-intuitive and in complete opposition to my basic sense of right and wrong that I could never embrace it without feeling sick and corrupt.

I think it is a philosophy of obedience and assumed authority without justification, the essence of totalitarianism, which is decidedly dangerous, unhealthy and immoral.

Domain Envy

So I'm thinking about plopping down either 10 or 20 bucks to officially buy DepthDeception.com and jfullerjr.com and link them to my blog and portfolio. Actually, what I'll probably do is just buy a domain for my portfolio so it will look and feel a little more legit.

I'm also still thinking seriously about buying gamenewslinx.com and starting my own game news aggregator website. But I'm unfocused and lack confidence, so who knows if I'll ever forge ahead with that project.

God Plays New Joke on Human Race

Drug-resistant tuberculosis. That sure is some amazing design. What a kind, merciful God!

Artwork Portfolio Open!

Check out the Gallery!

Quick Recipe for a Great Breakfast

Ingredients:

    

1 package of Stouffer's Frozen Harvest Apples
2 packets of Cream of Wheat
2 teaspoons of Brown Sugar
~ 1 Cup Boiling water

Step 1: Prepare Harvest Apples in your microwave.
Step 2: Pour two packets of Cream of Wheat into a bowl and add 2 teaspoons of brown sugar.
Step 3: Boil about 1 cup of water and mix with the Cream of Wheat and brown sugar (adding more or less depending on desired viscosity).
Step 4: Remove apples from microwave and mix into your Cream of Wheat.
Setp 5: You're done! Serve while still hot.

Cooking time: ~6 minutes


Mmmm... I love this breakfast. It's easy, cheap, and extremely filling. And for the frozen food wary, Stouffer's Harvest Apples are surprisingly crisp and delicious.

Zionsville's Poor Education, Part II

I forgot to mention two other incidents of misinformation and poor lesson plans at Zionsville Community High School.

1) My brother reports that over 75% of his classmates believe Barack Obama is a Muslim. This may in part be due to the fact that his teacher has been teaching that Barack Obama is a Muslim.

2) My brother is watching the film The Truman Show in his History course and the teacher has assigned The Matrix for homework.

Cell Phoneage

I'm thinking very seriously about getting the new iphone 3g. The phone costs $199, but my parents might be willing to buy it for my birthday. After that, it's just $30 a month, which I think I can swing. It would also be nice because I've long since filled up my ipod nano (the original) and the darn thing is on the fritz.

My only worry is that google's Android phones are just starting to release, and even though the current generation falls short of the iphone's functionality and form factor, it may not be long before Apple is toppled.

Maybe all I really want is an ipod touch. I think you can still browse online with those, as long as there is a nearby wifi hotspot. It also comes with a lot more memory. Is that the best way to go?

Scurge of the Underpants Gnomes

First my Blockbuster shirt mysteriously disappears. Now my tablet stylus has gone missing without a trace! It was here, next to my computer, on my tablet this morning. Now poof! It's gone. This is most upsetting because I've been using it heavily to make icons for my portfolio. I can't even imagine where it might be.

Give me back my stylus, you dastardly underpants gnomes!